Getting out of my numbness and talking about it..

The beach has always brought peace within me. However, grief disrupted that in the most shocking way. The fear of losing my father was something totally unexpected and unplanned for. I was not able to focus and concentrate on my project. I had never faced this kind of stress of living with the fear of losing a dear one. This stress sucked up all of my energy and what came out was only negative feelings. From mid-November onward, I have been feeling very distraught and tired and I feel a lagging behind and an additional stress for the completion of my project.

The Pecha Kucha presentation was a big challenge. I just worked quickly and got on with it to show progress. The idea of working with my hands for painting had been tempting me since the day I did the carving and I thought about the deeper understanding/relationship/bonding I had while handling the objects. I felt this was important and Les also encouraged me for experimenting with the tactile. The ideas presented for the first part of the Pecha Kucha (which was also the major part of the Pecha Kucha) were all worked way before my dad suffered the strokes. 

As I finally bought myself to work on the painting, I was in an agitated state of mind. The outcome was somewhat different too. I started using lots of black and my actions were immediate. I was OK with everything and if ever I was not,I kept on working until I could feel that I should stop. This technique also offered me comfort in an instinctual, unexplained way. It also kept my mind away from fear for sometime.

Lately, I have started to gather stuffs from the beach again so I feel stable to move on now even though I still live with the fear of losing him. I feel the weight of my personal life/problems on my work and I feel this struggle has to be looked as a weapon for a better leap. My blog has suffered a lot from my inaction and I feel sorry. I have to move on now. 

When putting forward emotion first in art, there is always the danger of being vulnerable. There is a form of honesty that comes from feelings.Was I in a form of inaction? I do not feel so. The turmoil and chaos from within brought a change from my stable thought patterns. I feel an anger so strong I feel like I am taking it out on canvas literally with my hands. I have not been sleeping well. I also feel tired from too much responsibilities. I want time for myself and I need encouragement for positive thinking. My friends from the OCA have been very understanding; especially Judith, Jennifer B and Mark. It is now time to move on; I have to re-organise. I also think my Expression of Intention has changed and has to be written again; especially as the one submitted has been copy-pasted from my past blog pages.     

Expression of Intention.

STATEMENT 

Conversations with Shells.

There is something about living around nature. Living on a small island can have its advantages to the artist. Nature is generous in providing us with all kind of wonders around. Being to the beach is so important to me. One of the important discoveries was to re-discover in a sense the structures of shells, corals and leftovers of the sea.I could feel that something could be built up and developed from there. I am fascinated how by simple observation, one can see hidden elements. As an object it holds its secrets and mysteries.
 

There is something fascinating about structures of dead sea shells. I would like to take time to think about them. There is  a symmetry there but also light asymmetrical elements. Fascinating objects;unique and even more fascinating as the ones eroded by time. They fit into the hand;they are so delicate, intriguing and beautiful to look at.There is something hidden that reveals itself on closer inspection: all you have to do is invest some time to find out what is there. As discussed I feel for the beauty of nature around me and though not directly; I have often found associations in my works. There is a strangeness in those complex shapes and structures that I would like to have people to react to; and also the issue about inside and outside;void and weight;perception and intuitive memory...

Drawings from Observations:

These are very important explorations for they are the starting point. They directed me to my personal aspirations; making things more selective.

 

Cut-outs:

 Another way to get the feel..

Painting Sketches:

Following the ideas of Georgia O'Keeffe :"When you take a flower in your hand and really look at it, it's your world for the moment. I want to give that world to someone else. Most people in the city rush around so, they have no time to look at a flower."

I would like to enjoy this personal feeling of contemplation; to maintain an inner state of calm while time does not need to get in between, "creating an equivalent for what I felt about what I was looking at-not copy it" (O'Keeffe)

Drawing from memory: 

I wanted to think on the way things could be perceived differently (this method of drawing from memory was also a method Alberto Giacometti used to evolve in his style.) The ideas about how the conscious is storing selected information in an organised system is really something which could be pursued further. I like the idea where the "presence" is wholely and simply felt with the solid shape and feel of the texture. Direct carving was important as the projected image from the subconscious would seem to work out its way through the material. I always liked working on soap as if I was sketching on something:reaching out for primal thoughts and ideas and working on a small piece. Was it not the "plastic sensibility"; "the sensation of the tactile qualities of surfaces"(argued by Sir Herbert Read: The Art of Sculpture); the whole idea around palpation and handling of the object when I was strolling on the beach which finally led me to the fascination of this subject in the first place?. These seemed to be my latest Leitmotifs: the touch versus the seen;the intuitive versus the representational; sculpture versus painting..
 

  

Painting with fingers:

My latest experiments are working with hands and I am enjoying the feel and the intuitive element.

INTENTION
Essentially I would like this tactile element to remain while exploring on painting methods on series of different dimensions;working on different canvas at the same time. 

Research..

Shell paintings by Amiria Robinson Gale: "It is the broken, worn, incomplete shells that provide inspiration. This one has little pock marks in the surface where bugs have gnawed at it and faded brown lines that dash across the surface. The composition sketch in black pen has scribbled notes reminding me what the work was about. It is not overly detailed, but depicts the structure of the work; the placement of the shell; the landscape within and the main water lines extending out from the curves of the shell. Note that the representation of the shell is not entirely realistic, but has been slightly simplified / stylised. The shell in this painting has been built up with a very thick layer of modelling compound – at its deepest, this protrudes 20mm out from the painting board. The lower stripy section of shell is covered with bumpy, textured handmade paper. A layer of gesso has primed the work before painting with Atelier acrylic. The water has been painted using many translucent layers, with gel medium and Atelier artist acrylic paint. The finished work is 1000 x 1000mm and depicts a semi-abstract shell tumbling within the ocean, with a landscape shown through the shell. It was completed in 2004. This is probably my most well known work. The painting was sold privately and now hangs in a private collection in Australia."

http://www.amiriarobinson.com/amiria-gale-shell-paintings/
http://www.amiriarobinson.com/beach-paintings/

 Sara Jane Doberstein: Inspired by the beauty of coastal areas, she entices us with realistic paintings of seashells and other seashore phenomena. Vivid color and a refined sense of light contribute to the amazing sense of wet shells.

 The Artist Says:
Using a vivid palette, strong forms, and energetic compositions, my work looks at the ordinary. By painting in a realistic style, I strive to capture the essence of everyday objects and scenes, while at the same time making visible their extraordinary qualities. My style combines tight, detailed brushstrokes with looser, more expressive strokes, with a focus on coastal and still life subjects

 
http://faso.com/fineartviews/19259/sara-jane-doberstein-enticing-realistic-paintings-of-seashells-and-other-seashore-phenomena
http://sarajanedoberstein.com/workszoom/1862245
http://sarajanedoberstein.com/workszoom/1859269
http://www.edwarddare.com/Artwork-Detail.cfm?ArtistsID=621&NewID=3312
http://www.edwarddare.com/Artwork-Detail.cfm?ArtistsID=621&NewID=3762
http://www.edwarddare.com/Artwork-Detail.cfm?ArtistsID=621&NewID=3310
http://www.edwarddare.com/Artwork-Detail.cfm?ArtistsID=621&NewID=3758
http://www.edwarddare.com/Artwork-Detail.cfm?ArtistsID=621&NewID=3761

 
 Elaine Twiss:
Artist's Statement

"Since childhood I've been intrigued by art and fascinated with detail. 
I find that when I reproduce what I see onto paper. I feel a great sense of satisfaction and joy.

My paintings are acrylic on paper.  When considering an idea for a painting, I arrange objects until the desired effect is achieved. I then photograph the arrangement and replicate the image of my original idea onto arches rough watercolor paper.  Then I begin painting, making adjustments according to my vision for the piece. Photorealism has always been fascinating to me because of the specific attention paid to detail.

I love to paint!"

Elaine Twiss 

http://www.elainetwiss.com/shells.html
http://www.elainetwiss.com/gallery_3.html

Some Quick Words:

Why research? I was curious about how other people might be thinking about this theme and I have discovered useful information..some to be adopted..

Amongst the three, I prefer the works of Robinson Gale as there is always an attempt to interpret the literal "structure" of the shell. I also like the way she expresses herself on nature and her observations are quite similar (even though they are personal) to my own. I like the Surreal feel to her works.

The works of the other two artists are realist interpretations, however aesthetically very beautiful. The colours used are subtle and apt and the feeling is subdued and harmonious. 

These research were good;however I feel my other interests (2D versus 3D;intuitive and real..) will overlap for my own interpretation and development in due time.. 

Sketches and the Sculpture.

Some quick sketches from the subject Coral Structures; leading to a carved biomorphic form where there is an emphasis over the mass; concentrating on the internal forms. Both the sketches and the sculpture are drawn from memory. I wanted to think on the way things could be perceived differently (this method of drawing from memory was also a method Alberto Giacometti used to evolve in his style.) The ideas about how the conscious is storing selected informations in an organised system is really something which could be pursued further. I like the idea where the "presence" is wholely and simply felt with the solid shape and feel of the texture. Direct carving was important as the projected image from the subconscious would seem to work out its way through the material. I always liked working on soap as if I was sketching on something:reaching out for primal thoughts and ideas and working on a small piece. Was it not the "plastic sensibility"; "the sensation of the tactile qualities of surfaces"(argued by Sir Herbert Read: The Art of Sculpture); the whole idea around palpation and handling of the object when I was strolling on the beach which finally led me to the fascination of this subject in the first place?. These seemed to be my latest Leitmotifs: the touch versus the seen;the intuitive versus the representational; sculpture versus painting.. I am keeping an open mind on what all these ideas will be culminating to;however making always seems to keep my darkest fears at bay..

     

Variation: cut-outs

 

I needed a break..some freshness..starting something new and moving forward as I felt I was stagnating on the same ideas and feelings. These cut-out shapes were inspired from my previous sketches about the structures I am actually exploring on. I liked working on black paper as I felt I was on a journey where there could be more to developing forms and rhythms. The black colour was the right choice. It created harmonious associations and highlighted the shapes and the depth I wanted to work on and negated repetition. Black is a very compelling colour. It carries a quality of enigma. It commands attention and creates various levels of mysterious reading and perspectives. Each cut-out is also a play within itself and compliments the other. Maybe I can use them as stencils later on.