About three months' holidays; cut from the routine that I had been on while finishing my MAyear2 project. I felt good while the project was finished and handed over and I was waiting for these days where I would be "charging my battery up" in a sense. Quality time spent thinking about myself and my art. I came to realise that basically what I was reaching out- this "abstract something"; it is something about myself- a part of me. I also came to the realisation of how important it was to understand myself. As discussed, I feel that do better only while being fully acquainted with myself.
I also feel a quietness within now; and a calmness where I feel I have ordered things around. The panic and all of the submission was a hectic stressful period. However, during these months, I have often been to the beach. I re-discovered peacefulness and beauty. It feels so calm to take a deep breath and to listen; to look around or just to notice some thing that can be useful after all. Sometimes just picking up an object (a shell maybe) and taking a good look at it can take hours of my time. I have always been fascinated by the structures or even molecular structures and patterns that nature can offer us and the inevitable process of decay. There are the works of Terry Winters which I look out for more and more as"Graphic Primitives",1998., where he constructs an amalgation of cell-like structures, webs, grids, spirals, crosshatchings,etc. that will later look like diagrams suggesting x-rays or even maps. I feel there is a deeper reality here; as the once useless structure is being looked at in a different perspective;as a perfect armature or even becoming close to that of sculptures. There is also a form of rhythm and dynamism; of energy fully packed within and flowing generously but also about the personal in relation to the universal:full of hope and fulfillment.
On the other hand, colours are a different matter,totally apart from structures. They are just so poetic;fully engrossed in movement and change. While looking at the perfect sunset by the sea for example; the hues and colours can only be experienced, as a "spiritual" experience as Kandinsky discussed about; an exploration of a secret world of private feeling and harmony- a sensation. In my exploration of colours and paint, I feel like a storyteller, telling a story that can only be felt and understood at a deeper level.
This year's resolution will be dedicated to hope; for I intend to maximase on my capacity and to transgress to another level. I feel confident to a certain level; however the doubts are always here from time to time. Allowing rest was a way to welcome newer aspects to view things. As they say; you have to empty yourself for new things to come over and I feel prepared..
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