Affirmations

"Konokono"

 

"Konokono" is a sea creature that exists in Mauritius and in Rodrigues; the neighbouring Island of Mauritius. The species found in Rodriques is unique and it is quite common to see the shells of the "Konokono" lying on the beaches there. However, people of that place are not so interested in the shells: the "Konokono" is rather one of the delicacies of the place and its flesh is often served in salad.http://cuisine-cocovilla.blogspot.com/2014/05/salade-de-kono-kono.html I had the opportunity to taste it (when I was still non-vegetarian) and it is delicious. Its taste is close to the flesh of the Octopus;however, the "Konokono" is also known to be slightly hallucinogenic- I have my doubts on that; however together with a glass of wine and good food, the mood become joyful and festive.

I want to dwell on this aspect of how this shell seems to be unimportant to the people living in that region and so important to me. The fact that they are accustomed to see these shells makes them unimportant to its inhabitants; it is only its flesh that are of interest. The shells look common however while looking closer, they have a different texture from other shells that I have found. I like the colours too: there seem to be a palette of shades of  different colours: purple, red, brown and green. The french word "déguster" comes to my mind suddenly: to savour with the eye and to savour its taste..http://fran.cornu.free.fr/affichage/affichage_nom.php?id_espece=1653 Seafood is something very common on islands as it is easily available; however it is considered as delicacy for the foreigners. I also think of the word "excellence" which is often associated to "high cuisine" which is a form of art...

Beach Therapy.

 “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door”:“You stand on the beach and taste the salty smell of the wind that comes from the ocean, and inside you feel the warmth of never ending freedom, and on your lips the bitter, tear-soaked kiss of your lover”.

These drawings were done on the spot while sitting under the shade of a tree. It is so true when Annabel talked about living the situation (smell, sight, taste...) The sound of waves is very comforting and I am on the searching mode as I start to look closely at everything around.

It was a very hot sticky afternoon where I became immersed in the salty smell and taste as I drew on from my discoveries. This feeling is unique and also so important. I would like to record the sound of the sea in future; I have seen yoga programmes use them for meditation purposes. Here is what they say about the sound/sight/smell/touch/taste:

It`s connected with how we perceive external information. We get about 90% of information with the help of our eyes (visual type of perception); 9% – with the help of our ears (sound perception), and only 1% of it we take from other sense organs (touch, taste, smell).
So, if we turn on the sounds of the seashore, lie down on the bed, and close our eyes (thereby turning off 90% of visual perception), we will find ourselves on the sea…

Such audiolization improves your mood and sleep, calms down your nervous system, and helps fight with stress and depression. Listening to these sounds you can get a massage, sleep or meditate.

Interesting idea to think on and as they say: “The earth has music for those who listen.” ― George Santayana

The things I look at and the things I look for..

There are things I look at and there are things I look for. The things I look at at the moment are related to pain,death and sadness. They are the fearful objects that I can't negate from my life; disturbing, forceful and sucking all the joy and positive energy. I feel more at ease to talk about them now. My meeting with Annabel Dover was a turning point. She redefined my parameters in a sense and made me realise how feelings and emotions cannot be dissociated from my project. She also encouraged me to document on these objects even if only to photograph them and to shelve aside for future use if need be.

Of course in contrast, the things I look for is definitely an escape zone area; the comforting activity of finding beauty and highlighting it. I also liked the way Annabel canalised everything into the diary approach: documenting a simple idea a day seems lighter than overthinking about concept and complexities all at one go. There is also something truthful about documenting my father's illness. It is about personal involvement; the same old story of analysing the narrative of the material is present; the story of within the narrative..

Annabel offered me a panoply of references to look for. The British Botanist Anna Atkins had my immediate full attention as I researched on her drawings https://archive.org/stream/lamarcksgeneraof00lama#page/102/mode/2up
Anna Atkins made drawings for her father's book: "Lamarck's Genera of Shells". She also made an album with her cousin Anne Dixon of things they had collected on their walks, when both were mourning their fathers. Collection often acts as a self-therapy process and the author Daniel Miller in his book "The Comfort of Things" debates how "the closer our relationships are with objects; the closer our relationship are with people". The idea of mapping the territory by collecting material is essential to me. 
A contemporary artist who shares my interest is Peter Atkins who says: "My work is about interaction, humanity, the remnants, what's left", "challenging people to look at what makes up their day." and "responding to the commonplace and mundane". His bold abstractions on canvas and multi panelled journals utilise the ephemera of his travels – everything from buttons to bottle tops, sequins and washing machine lint.  Hidden amidst the strange forms are indigenous artefacts and the odd deviations of Outsider Art. Atkins is an alchemist mixing condom wrappers, messages from fortune cookies, lotto tickets, confetti… not just things, but loaded things, writes Max McLean, that speak of chance or destiny, birth and death, form and entropy.http://tolarnogalleries.com/artists/peter-atkins/

Getting out of my numbness and talking about it..

The beach has always brought peace within me. However, grief disrupted that in the most shocking way. The fear of losing my father was something totally unexpected and unplanned for. I was not able to focus and concentrate on my project. I had never faced this kind of stress of living with the fear of losing a dear one. This stress sucked up all of my energy and what came out was only negative feelings. From mid-November onward, I have been feeling very distraught and tired and I feel a lagging behind and an additional stress for the completion of my project.

The Pecha Kucha presentation was a big challenge. I just worked quickly and got on with it to show progress. The idea of working with my hands for painting had been tempting me since the day I did the carving and I thought about the deeper understanding/relationship/bonding I had while handling the objects. I felt this was important and Les also encouraged me for experimenting with the tactile. The ideas presented for the first part of the Pecha Kucha (which was also the major part of the Pecha Kucha) were all worked way before my dad suffered the strokes. 

As I finally bought myself to work on the painting, I was in an agitated state of mind. The outcome was somewhat different too. I started using lots of black and my actions were immediate. I was OK with everything and if ever I was not,I kept on working until I could feel that I should stop. This technique also offered me comfort in an instinctual, unexplained way. It also kept my mind away from fear for sometime.

Lately, I have started to gather stuffs from the beach again so I feel stable to move on now even though I still live with the fear of losing him. I feel the weight of my personal life/problems on my work and I feel this struggle has to be looked as a weapon for a better leap. My blog has suffered a lot from my inaction and I feel sorry. I have to move on now. 

When putting forward emotion first in art, there is always the danger of being vulnerable. There is a form of honesty that comes from feelings.Was I in a form of inaction? I do not feel so. The turmoil and chaos from within brought a change from my stable thought patterns. I feel an anger so strong I feel like I am taking it out on canvas literally with my hands. I have not been sleeping well. I also feel tired from too much responsibilities. I want time for myself and I need encouragement for positive thinking. My friends from the OCA have been very understanding; especially Judith, Jennifer B and Mark. It is now time to move on; I have to re-organise. I also think my Expression of Intention has changed and has to be written again; especially as the one submitted has been copy-pasted from my past blog pages.     

Expression of Intention.

STATEMENT 

Conversations with Shells.

There is something about living around nature. Living on a small island can have its advantages to the artist. Nature is generous in providing us with all kind of wonders around. Being to the beach is so important to me. One of the important discoveries was to re-discover in a sense the structures of shells, corals and leftovers of the sea.I could feel that something could be built up and developed from there. I am fascinated how by simple observation, one can see hidden elements. As an object it holds its secrets and mysteries.
 

There is something fascinating about structures of dead sea shells. I would like to take time to think about them. There is  a symmetry there but also light asymmetrical elements. Fascinating objects;unique and even more fascinating as the ones eroded by time. They fit into the hand;they are so delicate, intriguing and beautiful to look at.There is something hidden that reveals itself on closer inspection: all you have to do is invest some time to find out what is there. As discussed I feel for the beauty of nature around me and though not directly; I have often found associations in my works. There is a strangeness in those complex shapes and structures that I would like to have people to react to; and also the issue about inside and outside;void and weight;perception and intuitive memory...

Drawings from Observations:

These are very important explorations for they are the starting point. They directed me to my personal aspirations; making things more selective.

 

Cut-outs:

 Another way to get the feel..

Painting Sketches:

Following the ideas of Georgia O'Keeffe :"When you take a flower in your hand and really look at it, it's your world for the moment. I want to give that world to someone else. Most people in the city rush around so, they have no time to look at a flower."

I would like to enjoy this personal feeling of contemplation; to maintain an inner state of calm while time does not need to get in between, "creating an equivalent for what I felt about what I was looking at-not copy it" (O'Keeffe)

Drawing from memory: 

I wanted to think on the way things could be perceived differently (this method of drawing from memory was also a method Alberto Giacometti used to evolve in his style.) The ideas about how the conscious is storing selected information in an organised system is really something which could be pursued further. I like the idea where the "presence" is wholely and simply felt with the solid shape and feel of the texture. Direct carving was important as the projected image from the subconscious would seem to work out its way through the material. I always liked working on soap as if I was sketching on something:reaching out for primal thoughts and ideas and working on a small piece. Was it not the "plastic sensibility"; "the sensation of the tactile qualities of surfaces"(argued by Sir Herbert Read: The Art of Sculpture); the whole idea around palpation and handling of the object when I was strolling on the beach which finally led me to the fascination of this subject in the first place?. These seemed to be my latest Leitmotifs: the touch versus the seen;the intuitive versus the representational; sculpture versus painting..
 

  

Painting with fingers:

My latest experiments are working with hands and I am enjoying the feel and the intuitive element.

INTENTION
Essentially I would like this tactile element to remain while exploring on painting methods on series of different dimensions;working on different canvas at the same time.